The Road to Polis
by mrsdarcy18
Summary: After leaving Camp Jaha, Clarke finds herself once again by Lexa's side. But the repercussions from the Battle with the Mountain Men has created a strain on their relationship that they both must overcome on the road to the capital, Polis. (Post-Season 2 finale).
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Clarke left Bellamy's embrace. She dared to look at Camp Jaha one last time before taking a slow and final turn away. She did not know when or if she would return. The only thing she knew was that her decision would weigh down on her for the rest of her life. She could not look into the eyes of her mother or her friends without seeing those she had sacrificed for them.

She began to walk into the forest. With the Mountain Men and their Reapers gone, Clarke didn't think she had anything to fear. But would the Grounders still honor the alliance she made with Lexa? The thought furrowed her brow and slowed her pace. She tried thinking as a Grounder. Are Sky people still the enemy to them?

The thought didn't last long. She was interrupted by a vision of a young boy, laying on the ground and covered in blisters. She quickened her pace, running to the boy. He needed her mother's medical attention. But she stopped as she realized she had seen the boy before. He was from the Mountain. Clarke bent down, now at the edge of the tree line, cautiously advancing toward the boy. She felt her eyes swell with tears. She felt a pain in her chest that had been there since the Mountain, but now grew fiercer as if it would take her whole. Her hands floated above the boy's broken and lifeless body.

"I didn't have a choice!" Clarke sobbed. "I had to get my people out! Their lives were in danger! I had no choice!" Her voice broke into a scream that drifted into the forest. Birds flew out of the trees, disturbed from the shrill. Clarke remained there, on her knees, sobbing for a moment. The boy locked eyes with her. She thought she saw resentment in his eyes, but as they looked at each other, she realized it was pity.

She closed her eyes, trying to get the image out of her mind. Instead, when she opened them she was surrounded not only by the dead boy, but of Mountain Men - and Mountain Women, and Mountian Children - sprawled in the glade behind her and the trees before her. She sat on the ground, her sobs still stifling her screams. She grabbed her knees in front of her, and rocked herself gently.

When Clarke's tears ran dry, the sun was already declining. She hesitated. _Do I turn back? I will have shelter and food. But I will have to face my mother. I can't bear it._ She instead got up and pierced through the trees. She was heading no where in particular. Her actions were thoughtless and robotic. The blistered bodies still surrounded her, popping up before her to be constantly in her sight. But she was able to swerve through them in the forest, keeping her gaze on the ground in front of her. She kept reminding herself of Lexa's words, repeating them over in her mind, trying to find the strength to overcome her emotions. _Sacrifice. I did what was necessary to save my people._

Clarke had already been on the move for hours, but she felt no hunger or exhaustion. She instead felt like a shell of a human being, hollow on the inside. _I do not deserve to feel pain. Not after the pain I've caused._ Instead, she kept moving.

When the sun finally set, Clarke snapped out of it and realized where she was. While her mind was within itself, her body had taken her to Tondc. She stopped in her tracks. The shell of what it once was, Tondc was eerily quiet. The hole in the center of the town pulled Clarke to the ground, where she once again began to sob, this time quietly to herself.

While she was taken away by another pang of guilt, Clarke heard footsteps approaching. She collected herself and stood up, facing Indra.

"Clarke of the Sky People. What are you doing here?" Indra demanded.

Clarke hesitated. She truly didn't know why she had ended up here, or where she was meaning to go. She decided to reveal that truth to Indra. "I couldn't face them. Not after what I've done."

Indra stiffened. "What have you done?"

"After the retreat, I stayed behind. We were able to get them out. But not before we killed every single person in the Mountain. Everyone is dead."

Indra scoffed, "So much for your rescue mission. Like I said, _Blood Must have Blood."_ She awaited Clarke's argument, but was disappointed. Clarke only looked down at her feet and furrowed her brow, trying not to break down for a third time that day.

"I should inform the Commander that the Mountain Men are gone, and our deal is off."

Clarke's head swiftly came up, her face displaying a deep hatred upon hearing the Commander mentioned. "She's _here?"_

"Of course. The funeral for those killed by the missile is being held this evening. The Commander felt it necessary to attend. I don't suppose I have to tell you why." Indra answered.

Clarke began toward Indra. "I need to talk to her." Indra hesitated, but let her pass. She wanted to see how this would pan out.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The heat radiating off Clarke's face cleared any sign of her tears. She marched toward the large tent that she knew would be the hiding place of the Commander. Clarke passed the funeral pyre, but did not so much as glance at it. She was too focused on the words she would pass to the woman who she dared to feel for, only to have been completely betrayed.

The tent was guarded by two tall and imposing Grounders. _Naturally_ , thought Clarke. "Step aside. I need to talk to the Commander," said Clarke. The bodyguards looked at each other, unsure of how to proceed. Were the Sky People the enemy, now that a deal had been struck with the Mountain Men?

Before either could make an answer, Lexa drew the curtain herself. She was taken aback by the sight of Clarke and her anger. She thought she had heard her voice, but did not think it was possible. "I did not think I would see you again, Clarke of the Sky People."

Clarke replied with an angered grin. "Don't get your hopes up. We need to talk." She pushed her way toward Lexa and into the tent. They both stood there, without speaking, for what seemed like an eternity. Then Lexa turned and stood in front of her throne, toying her sword slowly before placing it on the table close by.

"I know you think -" Lexa began, but could not finish. Clarke held up her hand and turned her face away.

"What the _hell_ did you think you were doing, going behind my back like that? What about our alliance? Did you really think you could just pull out of our plan without any repercussions?" Clarkes voice grew shrill as her temperature boiled.

Any trace of sympathy burned away within Lexa as she stiffened hearing Clarkes words. "Like I said, I had a duty to my people. I needed to protect them by any means necessary. Sacrifice, Clarke."

"By making a deal with the people who have terrorized your people for decades? By abandoning those who you gave your word to? So much for diplomacy!" Clarke moved toward Lexa, her hands furiously moving as she spoke.

"You would have done the same thing, had you been in my position! I will deal with the Mountain Men in time, but I needed my people back" said Lexa, still attempting to retain her composure.

"Well you wont have to deal with the Mountain Men anymore. I did it for you. They are all dead now!" Clarke shut her eyes as she spoke, trying to keep the emotions in.

"You...you killed them all? Even the innocent?" Lexa gasped.

Clarke was outraged at Lexa's words that felt like an accusation. "You left me with no other choice! When I finally got in there, they had all my people chained to the wall waiting to be killed one by one! What was I supposed to do?"

Lexa retained her composure and felt proud. "You acted like a leader. You made sacrifices. You did what had to be done."

Clarke was furious. "Yeah, well I wish I could say the same thing about you."

Lexa went to answer her, to calm her down enough to talk about the future, but Indra entered the tent. "It is time for the ceremony," Indra interrupted. Turning to see Clarke, she added "You should come to. Time to face your decisions."

Clarke looked at Lexa. "We aren't done here." Lexa held her gaze for a moment, then turned sharply toward the door and left. Clarke stood alone in the tent for a moment, but ultimately followed. Indra had been right. She had to face her choices some time, why not now?

The ceremony was like the only other one Clarke had seen, save for the much bigger funeral pyre. This time, Lexa did not give the torch to Clarke. The Commander gave an inspiring speech about peace to the crowd, but Clarke was too furious to give it her attention. Now that she had broken free from her spell (she noticed that as soon as she came across Tondc the blistered bodies of the Mountain Men had faded away), she had to think rationally about where she would go and how she would survive. Clarke did not want to rely on Lexa. But she had to spend the night in Tondc. It was the only option.

Clarke looked up to see the fire burning in front of her. Most of the crowd had already left. _I must have zoned out again. I have to stop doing that,_ she thought. In the corner of her eye, she saw Lexa approaching.

"You may rest here for the night. Luckily there are many free tents available to you. My guard will bring you to one now. In the morning, we will continue in our discussion." And with that, the Commander left Clarke for the evening. "Looking forward to it," Clarke whispered to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

The tent that Clarke would be staying in for the night was larger than some. Clarke assessed it and figured it had belonged to a small family. There was a double bed pushed up against the corner opposite the door, covered in animal skins. A dining table was opposite the bed, with one chair placed underneath. There was another spot large enough for another single bed, but it was empty. _The parents probably died in the bomb. The kids too, maybe,_ Clarke thought. She shivered. The tent had clearly already been emptied of all its valuables, but luckily the skins were left so she wouldn't freeze to death that night.

As she walked toward the bed, images of the wreckage of the bomb filled Clarkes mind. She pictured broken bodies of men, women and children. She unwillingly tried to recall who might have lived in this cabin. "Enough," she said to herself.

She crawled under the skins and tried to take her mind off of the destruction that kept invading her thoughts. She thought of Camp Jaha, but it made her sad to think of her friends without her. She thought of the Arc, but it made her think of her mother, and she felt both guilt and anger. That anger made her think of her father, but the thought was too painful. _What would Dad think of me now?_ Clarke thought over this carefully, but had to stop. The possibility of her father's disapproval was not what she needed right now.

 _Be strong. Love is weakness,_ Clarke thought to herself, hearing Lexa's words in her mind. She tried to picture Lexa saying those words to her. She started with her hair, long and brown with intricate braids, knots and beads. She moved on to her face, small but analysing and sharp. She imagined taking a paintbrush to make the warpaint that surrounded Lexa's eyes. Here she stopped. _Those eyes. Full of fury, full of betrayal,_ Clarke thought. She tried so hard to hate those eyes. Yet, she could not help but to remember their softer appearance. Those were the eyes she had seen when she saved Lexa from the gorilla. They were the eyes she saw as they camped out together afterwards. And they were the eyes she saw before Lexa had placed her lips on Clarkes.

 _Those lips,_ thought Clarke. Full, pink and pouty. Clarke recalled their soft eagerness as Lexa kissed her. She imagined those lips on her own again. And then moving on to her cheek, her neck…

Clarke awoke in the tent, the sunshine of the next morning pooling over her through the fabric walls of the tent. She groaned and rose out of bed. Her stomach growled. _I guess I didn't eat much yesterday. And I walked so far. I wonder how late it is,_ she thought.

When Clarke pulled the curtain of the tent aside, she saw the sun blinding her from the center of the sky. Tondc was bustling, with men, women and even children clearing rubble, rebuilding tents and preparing meals. Clarke analysed the scene, trying to spot Lexa. She found her bodyguard instead, and started walking toward him.

"Sky person. Here, food." The eloquence of the body guard made Clarke laugh as she accepted the plate of a watery oatmeal, nuts and berries, and glass of water. She headed for table set up close to the fire where some children were also eating and began to feast. The meal reminded her of one she and Lexa had shared over battle strategy meetings at the Mountain. Lexa had been so relaxed in her natural state, planning war. Clarke was busy wondering if she would ever see that side of Lexa again when she noticed a shadow standing over her.

"Clarke, you are up finally. Good. We must continue our discussion from last night." Lexa had freshly bathed, her hair still damp. She had not yet painted on her black mask. _I wonder if that's because we are at peace now,_ Clarke thought.

She followed Lexa into her tent, choosing her words. Now that she had rested and eaten, she was not full of the same anger as she had been last night. She remembered the thoughts she had fallen asleep to. Yet, Lexa had still abandoned her people in her time of need. Forgiveness would be a long way off.

When Clarke went to speak, Lexa interrupted. "I want to offer my apologies for what I did at the mountain. I know I betrayed your trust and your people. But I am happy to hear you found your friends."

Clarke stood, waiting for her to continue. She folded her arms, looking unimpressed.

"You must understand that the only way I would get my people back is through a deal with the Mountain Men. As a leader, I expect you would do the same for your people."

Clarke remained silent. She wanted it to be because she was not swayed by Lexa's words. But honestly, she did not know if she would have done the same or not.

"I want to make it up to you...to your people. I want to renew the alliance between my people and yours. We still need help to cure the prisoners from the Mountain and the Reapers." Lexa moved closer, keeping eye contact with Clarke. "And your people need an alliance with us. The war brought all the clans together unlike ever before. We are more of a threat to you as an enemy now."

"So you're making it up to me by not killing everyone I love? Gee, thanks" was the only reply Clarke gave.

Lexa broke eye contact and quickly looked at the ground. _Perhaps she will never forgive me,_ she thought. _But I still need to try._ "I also wanted to once again offer to take you to the Capital, Polis. You can see all the beauty of my land, and act as a representative of your people. I will of course arrange your travels home as well. I have to leave for Polis soon, but I will be returning to Tondc in three weeks to aid in the rebuilding effort."

Clarke was taken aback. She had completely forgotten the offer, and had no idea what to respond with. Lexa waited, but Clarke said nothing.

"I only ask that before we leave, you return to your people once more to make news of the alliance. I do not want my people to be shot by your guards."

"I can't go back," Clarke whispered. "Not after what I've done. I can't face them."

Lexa stepped forward, and reached out her hand to Clarkes shoulder. "Your people do not fear you. They owe you their lives."

Clarke began to argue her, but they were interrupted by a guard. "Someone here to see you, Commander." He backed out, and into the tent walked Bellamy.

"Clarke?," he said, and walked up to her.

"Bellamy!" Clarke hugged him and smiled. Even though they had only been apart for a day, it was still good to see him. "How is everyone at Camp? How is my mom? How is Raven?"

Bellamy laughed at her bombardment of questions. "Everyone is fine, including your mom and Raven. The medical team were up all night getting everyone stitched up. Why are you here?"

The Commander interrupted. "I was just informing Clarke that the terms of our alliance still stand. She was going to relay the information back to you."

Clarke squinted her eyes at Lexa, disapproving her interjection. But Bellamy was happy with the news. "Well, I guess I didn't need to come here then." He turned to Clarke. "Are you coming back with me, or what?"

"Lexa offered me to accompany her to the Grounder Capital, Polis. It could be an important step in the alliance." Clarke saw Lexa smile from the corner of her eye. "I'd be returning in three weeks, along with a rebuilding team for Tondc."

Bellamy pulled Clarke in close. "Are you sure that's wise right now? They did just betray us on the battlefield."

"Clarke will have nothing to worry about. And besides, you know where she's going and who to come looking for if something goes wrong," interjected the Commander.

"I don't need you to speak for me," stabbed Clarke.

Bellamy looked at Clarke with worry. She held his gaze, and gave a faint smile and nod. "It will be okay. We need to know more about the place we live." Bellamy nodded in response, and took the walkie talkie off his belt. "Take this. Now that Mount Weather isn't jamming our signal anymore, Raven could alter the walkies to be long range. It may not reach as far as Polis, but at least it's something. If there's any trouble, we can call each other."

Clarke took the radio and cradled it carefully in her hands. "Thank you. Take care of everyone for me."

"Of course," smiled Bellamy.

They hugged once more, and Bellamy left to return the message to Camp Jaha.

"Now, we better get on the road," said Lexa in a cold voice, as she left the tent after him.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa sat upright in the caravan, staring out the window at the passing forest. _Clarke and Bellamy have a bond. But what kind of bond could it be?_ She had been mulling over their interaction for the first three hours of their journey to Polis, eyeing Clarke but remaining silent.

Clarke was annoyed with the silence. _She seemed normal when she offered to take me to the Capital. Does she already regret that decision? I guess she's stuck with me now. I better make the most of this trip,_ she thought. She was mindlessly fondling the radio as she watched the forest pass outside the window. There was one on either side of the caravan, placed on either side of Lexa and Clarke's head. She could see Lexa staring at her from the corner of her eye, and it bothered her how many times she was tempted to look.

"You and Bellamy are close. Are you two...together?" Lexa finally broke the ice. Clarke stared at her in disbelief. _Is this what she was thinking about the whole time?_ "How do you mean 'together'?"

"Do you take pleasure in each other? Do you two go to bed together?" Clarke could almost make out a blush on Lexa's usually stern face.

"No, no. We are just friends. I never thought I would warm up to him. But being on the ground really changed that."

Lexa looked at Clarke. She wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. She wanted to ask her question after question - about her life on the arc, about her family, about her customs. But she knew that Clarke had not yet forgiven her. That was very far away indeed. She gave her a nod, and resumed her gaze out the window.

The rest of the day passed in silence. Both women were busy thinking about the other, though oblivious that was the case. Clarke would often catch Lexa staring at her, and vice versa. But their conversation didn't resume until they had reached the next village at dusk.

"Bandok," Clarke was informed as Lexa lept out of the caravan. "A small village, even smaller than Tondc. These people are the gatekeepers for the larger Rhea. Suppliers of grain and meat for the larger city. We will stay here overnight."

Clarke nodded at Lexa to let her know she was listening, but not in the mood for a discussion. Lexa led the way through the procession with Clarke not far behind. It seemed as if the entire small town had come out to see the Commander returned from battle. Lexa scanned the crowd, nodding her head to those eyes that met her. But Clarke noticed a number of people who purposely looked down when Lexa approached them, defying her gaze. She began to wonder just how powerful this Grounder alliance was, if some questioned the rule of Lexa.

The procession ended with the tallest building in the village. As she reached the entrance of the building, Lexa turned on her heel and spoke to the people of Bandok, who had followed the procession to this location.

"People of Bandok. I thank you for your hospitality this evening. Not only for me and my council, but also for Clarke of the Sky-People."

All eyes turned to Clarke. She expected hateful or angry expressions, but found those of wonder. _I can work with this,_ she thought.

Clarke stepped forward. "People of Bandok, I echo the Commander's words of thanks. I know you may have many questions, doubts, or fears about me and my people. I am here to answer to any of these questions on behalf of the Sky-People. But I can assure you, we have come in peace. We do not want to cause any trouble. We just ask for a chance to live peacefully on this planet with the Grounders. And I have also come here to figure out just how we can do that."

Clarke turned to Lexa to find her already staring at her in wonder. Lexa wanted to smile, but in front of a crowd she had to keep her diplomatic air. "Thank you, Clarke," she said. "And thank you, Bandok. We must retire, but we look forward to speaking with you in the morning."

The small crowd nodded in Lexa's direction, turned to get one last glimpse of the Sky-Person, and then turned to talk to each other as they walked to their own homes. Lexa and Clarke watched for a moment, but then turned into the building.

It was large, but not as large as Lexa's battle tent at the Mountain. They faced a large table, already set with bowls of fruits and nuts. Clarke noticed fresh, ripe strawberries in a small bowl on the table. There were six chairs surrounding the table, and Lexa took the one at the head. Her bodyguards quickly moved past Clarke to sit on either side of Lexa, turning to see Clarkes reaction.

 _Did they think I would be upset by that?_ Clarke wondered. She took the chair at the opposite end of Lexa, so they were facing each other. The other two spots were filled by two elders of Bandok, Chandri and Washington. Plates of warm bread were put on the table, the smell intoxicating to Clarke. It reminded her of the bread from the Arc. But this was more earthy tasting, heavier, and full of seeds. She looked around the table for butter to put on her bread, but only found bowls of a strange salsa-like topping. She was going to ask what it was when a bowl of soup was placed before her and everyone else at the table.

"Bandok special," Washington noted to Clarke. "Its a wheat-based soup, as is most of what we have here. But we flavour it with whatever is in season. Its the cold season, so we flavour it with chicken and mushroom."

Clarke's eyes broadened. "Chicken? Real chicken?"

Washington and Chandri exchanged nervous glances. "Yes, is that to your satisfaction?"

"Oh, no, I'm not offended by the chicken or anything. I'm not a vegetarian. It's just that, well on the Arc, we had chicken, but it was heavily genetically altered so that it wouldn't waste space or other resources. I've never seen a real chicken." Clarke spoke quickly, beginning to feel embarrassed by her reaction.

But Washington only chuckled lightly, asking "What is a vegetarian?" with a sly smile.

"Someone who does not eat animals. There are also people who don't eat anything produced with animal products, like milk or eggs, called vegans. There were a couple groups of them on the Arc, though it wasn't fashionable. Only the poorer districts had them." Clarke noticed as she was speaking that all eyes, even the bodyguards were on her.

"Animals are essential to our survival especially in the winter months, Clarke. Though Polis and other large cities like Rhea have better stores for crops as the farming season ends. But especially for the outlying villages, like Bandok, chicken and other animal meat is a necessity."

Clarke quickly interjected, "I didn't mean anything by it. I wasn't insulting your diet. I was just explaining something from my world."

Washington placed his hand gently on top of Clarkes to soothe her. "And we were not offended by it. It is just very...interesting and different. Something not expected."

Clarke looked at Washington and nodded to thank him. She looked up and saw Lexa with her eyes fixed on Washington's hand, which was still on top of Clarke's. She pulled her hand out from under his, with a small smile in his direction. The rest of the meal passed by in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner was over, the table was moved to the side of the room, and two young women entered the hall to perform a dance for the Commander and Clarke, aided by a band of young men and percussion instruments. The chairs were arranged in a semi-circle around the performers. Washington left the tent for a moment, and returned with a small group of other Bandok people to watch the performance. Drinks were passed around and the spectators began to chat as the young women moved their feet and hips to music being played.

"This looks like a sort of Native American dance," Clarke said to Lexa, who was sitting beside her in silence, watching the performance.

Lexa turned to look at Clarke quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Native Americans? The people who lived on the American continent before the arrival of the Europeans? Don't the Grounders have any sense of history?"

"We have oral legends about the time of the Cataclysm. Most books were burned for heat when our people were trying to survive, while yours fled to the sky. Those that remain are in poor shape. But in Polis we do have scholars of ancient history."

"But the regular people, the villagers, they aren't taught about the past?" Clarke moved closer to Lexa, quieting her voice in case her words offended the other members of the audience.

Lexa thought for a moment, and replied "Our lives are about survival, Clarke. If it's not other tribes, it's wild animals, or droughts and floods. We just don't have the time for talking about something as useless as ancient history. All of that is over, done with. It doesn't matter to us now."

Clarke stared in wonderment at Lexa and her words. _Do they really just cast aside history? How am I supposed to make common ground with them now?_ She turned to the performance, but her thoughts were surrounding strategy. _How do I make the Grounders trust me if I don't have history on my side?_ Clarke had never been much into Earth history lessons on the Arc, but she studied enough to know the basics. She had been relying on telling those stories and drawing the common history of the Grounders and her people in order to make a lasting alliance. But now she had to start from scratch.

The performance ended, and Lexa and Clarke were approached by members of the Bandok community. Clarke felt bombarded with questions about life in space. She was asked if she had wings, about falling to earth, about legends of people on Earth. She tried to answer each question as simply as possible, but they were getting difficult and she was tired.

After an hour, Lexa grabbed Clarke by the arm and turned to the rest of the crowd. "We are going to rest. We will answer more questions in the morning. Goodnight." Lexa led Clarke past a curtain that divided the entertaining and eating space of the building from the resting space. Clarke expected there to be a hallway leading to separate bedrooms for her and Lexa, but instead saw two medium sized beds sitting beside each other across the far wall.

Lexa walked toward the bed on the right, sat down and removed her shoes. Clarke did the same thing at the bed on the left. She looked at Clarke to see if there was anything she was supposed to do next. _Do Grounders pray before bed like some people on the Arc?_ Instead she saw Lexa unbuttoning her shirt.

"What the hell are you doing?" Clarke asked, trying to be as quiet as possible. The curtain that separated the beds from the entertaining space wasn't soundproof, and there were still people leaving the building.

"Getting ready for bed." Lexa had no idea what Clarke was going on about.

"But you're taking off your clothes!"

"Yes. These clothes are for not for sleeping." Lexa got up and went to the small end table at the opposite side of the bed, in the corner of the room. She opened the top drawer and got out a light gray gown with longsleeves and held it up to Clarke. Speaking slowly as if Clarke didn't speak English, she said "This is for sleeping in."

Clarke became frustrated at Lexa's attitude. "Listen, I'm not changing out of these clothes in front of you. I don't even want to be sleeping in the same room as you. I still haven't forgiven you for what you did at Mount Weather."

Lexa walked toward her, the lower buttons on her shirt remaining. "I have apologized. I have invited you on this trip, and treated you with civility. I have made you an honoured guest. What more am I supposed to do before you forgive me?" By the end of her speech, Lexa's voice had gotten louder that usual.

"You think I'm supposed to forgive you just because you've strung me along on this trip?" Clarke didn't care if there was anyone else on the other side of the curtain now, she was so angry with Lexa's assumption. "Taking me with you doesn't change the fact that you abandoned me on the battlefield. You left me and my people to die!"

"I did not leave you to die! You could have left with us and taken your losses. It was your choice to kill all those people in the Mountain for the sake of your friends. I did not force that upon you!"

Clarke's blood boiled. "If it wasn't for your cowardice, we would have stuck to the plan and fought our way into the mountain to save our people!"

Lexa was furious at the accusation. As she spoke, she moved closer to Clarke until she was inches away from her. She spoke calmly, but with loathing as she said "How dare you accuse me of being a coward. I made a diplomatic decision. Just because you chose more death over diplomacy does not make me a coward."

Clarke stood still and silent in front of Lexa. Her words had cut her deep. She was reminded of all the death she had caused at Mount Weather. She could feel the heat rising from her cheeks to her eyes, and tears beginning to form. She tried to hold it in, but she couldn't.

Lexa stood there awkwardly. She wanted so badly to console Clarke, to make her whole again, to take the bad memories away from her. She wanted to lay with her on the bed and stroke her golden hair gently as she fell asleep. But they were fighting, and Clarke had not forgiven her yet. She may never fully trust her again.

She couldn't help herself, she put one arm forward on top on Clarke's shoulder. Clarke didn't recoil as she anticipated she would, but she didn't move forward into Lexa's embrace as she wanted her to. Instead, they looked in each other's eyes.

"I am sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for this whole situation" Lexa said softly.

Clarke looked down at the ground. She remained silent.

Agitated, Lexa removed her hand from Clarke's shoulder and took a step back. "I still need to prove myself as a leader to these people, Clarke. Right now is not a good time to go to war. It could spark controversy within my rule. The alliance is fragile."

"I noticed some people wouldn't make eye contact with you in the procession. It looked like an act of defiance" Clarke replied.

"Yes. There are some that disapprove of me because I opted for alliance with the other tribes instead of war, which is our way."

Clarke mulled her words over. _So the truce with Mount Weather was a statement, not a retreat_ she thought. _But that doesn't make what she did any better._

"I know you had to make a statement at Mount Weather for politics sake. But you still abandoned my people. You abandoned me," Clarke said softly, looking down at her feet.

Lexa took a step forward, and lifted Clarke's chin so their eyes met. "I did not abandon you." She gazed over Clarke's face, from her bright blue eyes to her soft pink mouth. She wanted so badly to pick up where they had left off before all this started happening. But she refrained, and dropped her hand to her side. "But I can't help you if I am not in command. And starting a war with the Mountain Men would have put my command in jeopardy. A new Commander might not be so hospitable to the Sky People."

Clarke and Lexa stood there, staring into each others eyes, for a few moments. They both had thoughts about the other and their last kiss circulating in their minds. But they also both knew that this was not the time or the place for their desires to come out.

Clarke was the first to look away, taking a step backward toward her bed. "I forgive you." She said simply. Lexa let out a deep sigh of relief. But she remained in place, not knowing what Clarke wanted at that moment.

"Goodnight," Clarke announced, turning her back on Lexa and toward the end table beside her bed. She opened the drawer and found a similar nightgown to Lexas. She turned around and saw that Lexa had likewise gone to the opposite side of her bed to put the nightgown on with her back to her. With a little embarrassment, she put the nightgown on. She placed her clothes on the end of the bed, and climbed in beneath the fur sheets.


End file.
